My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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