had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
