he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
