We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
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No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
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when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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