Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
