I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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