Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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