O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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