Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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