i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
