Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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