It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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