Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
