Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
