i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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