I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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