I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
