And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
