Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
