I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wear drunk well.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
