you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
