is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
