happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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