Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so let's talk penis.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
