there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
