Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
