apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
