I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
