HIV tests are more positive than that guy
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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