Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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