did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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