I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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