sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize