I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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