apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
