It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
