he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize