Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize