You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
