somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
