That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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