No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
