Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
