then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
