I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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