apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
