Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
