I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
