He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
