anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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