well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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