actually, I'm a sock model
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
someone owes me an orgasm
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
