that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
