i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
