She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Couch. On fire.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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