Moan for me like Helen Keller
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
