Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
