i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
