you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize