I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize