i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
