I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
