Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
