I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just cut my nipple shaving
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
