Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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